Once upon a time in Mumbai, Part दो

(That's two in Hindi...I think...I googled it)

Now it's Monday in India. I've woken up and decided that I don't really like India. I can't eat the food, I can't stand the heat and I think I've missed half the city b/c I was looking at the ground watching where I'm stepping. Gotta watch out for the cracks, rats, spit piles and people napping.

Hindi word of the day: It's not a word, it's an action. The Indian Head Bobble. I must have seen it a thousand times at least. It means not yes, not no, it's a non-committal 'whatever'. Could be 'sure', could also be 'I don't speak English well enough to understand a darn word you're saying'. Who knows. It just makes me giggle. Below is a video of what I assume is a bunch of American dudes trying to imitate it. I'd say guy #4 does a spot on impression, though of course, he is the only Indian guy at the table. You probably won't think it's as funny as Joe and I did until you go to India one day and find that literally everyone does it, all the time.


Amazing Advertising Learning: I don't know why no one has thought of this before, but they should have white, blonde chicks walking around in sandwich boards and you could sell anything. I can't take full credit for this brilliant marketing ploy, when I was relaying the intensity of staring to my Holiday Inn client, she said she should just send me back there with a Holiday Inn t-shirt and I'd be marketing gold.

Dumb American Moment: I'd say my dumbest American moment of the entire trip was forgetting everything everyone told me before I went and brushing my teeth with the water twice before I remembered not to. It was habit! I'd been so anal about drinking only bottle water, nothing with ice, etc and then I completely forgot about it. I paid the price on Sunday.

Last blog entry (apologies for the delay) we left off with Sunday afternoon at the Indian restaurant. After that, we went to the Chor Bazaar, which stands for Thieves Market, though I assume it's anything but. It's a street full of (respectable-ish) stores that sell all sorts of things. I bought myself a little tunic which I'm not sure I'll ever actually wear but hey, who goes to India and doesn't come back with some beautiful piece of clothing?! Next to the street with all the little shops is a street with all these flowers, it was absolutely beautiful.

To take a breather, we stopped at Badshah Juice Center, which according to Joe is famous. It deserves to be, but at this point, the teeth brushing and Indian food were starting to get to me (that's all I'll say) so we headed back to the hotel for our afternoon cool down and nap.

That evening, we headed out to the Gateway of India at sunset. Which we didn't do on purpose but it was the best possible time to go. The lighting was absolutely stunning. And the promenade area in front of it was where the ultimate staring happened, and the pictures of the Gora (me) happened openly. It didn't distract from also taking snapshots of 1 of the few places I had on my list to see in Mumbai. The Taj Mahal Palace and Towers. It's such beautiful architecture. And though it's probably the nicest hotel in Mumbai, it was still only a little over 200 hundred a night. I kicked myself for not sucking it up and doing it once we went inside. It was soooo nice. Though I loved our hotel too and that was much cheaper and totally worth it. Inside the Taj Mahal is gorgeous too, and they have a cased in area that has pictures of all the famous people that have stayed there, John Lennon, Bill Clinton, etc.

Then we went to the best seafood restaurant I've ever been. Trishna. If you ever go to Mumbai, you have to go there. It was soooo good. Very nice and extremely reasonably priced for what we got. Joe's friends that he met at Leopolds on Friday night met us there and were quite interesting, 3 Germans and a Frenchie...who also said we talked like George Bush, apparently that's a Frenchie sentiment. We left them to finish up and went back to the hotel to crash after the long day and our bottle of wine.

Monday, we did some more sightseeing and shopping, pretty much took it easy. Went to Leopold's for an easy dinner where we met Anna who was eating alone. At this point, I had stopped eating all together, I was not putting anything other than bottled water into my body until I was back in Singapore. Anna is going to law school in Ohio and is starting her second year when she gets back. I can't remember the exact details (problem with doing the blog 2 weeks later) but I believe she had been in India for a month for a school class and then decided to take an extra week and travel. Regardless, we decided to meet up tomorrow to take a trip to Elephanta Island. None of us had really any idea of what to expect but I do think it was my favorite part of the trip. Monkeys are awesome!

Elephanta Island is about an hour ferry ride off the coast of Mumbai. I thought I'd get a little sea sick on the ferry ride, but I did fine. It was kinda sad really, because there had been an oil spill right off the coast and there was garbage and all sorts of junk floating in the water, it was even sadder when we got to the island the oil had come into the bays.
Elephanta Island received it's name from Portuguese sailors b/c of a huge Elephant statue that used to reside on the island. Unfortunately for Joe and I, who were looking forward to a sweet Crimson Tide photo opp, the Elephant statue had been moved to a museum. The coolest thing about the island are all these temple caves carved into the rock of the island from around the 7th century. I don't know about most of you, but that's the earliest I've ever seen anything. Tons of carvings into the walls and pillars, just imagine how long it took them to do that?!

Then we hiked it up to the very top of this mountain to see the view. Though I thought I was going to die of heat exhaustion (remember, I hadn't eaten for 24 hours at this point) and I almost decided to not hike up there with Joe and Anna, I'm glad I did b/c the view was beautiful. Wish I could say the same for me but that's beside the point.

The tour of Elephanta Island is supposed to take on average 2 hours. We took 3.5 and did it up right. I think it was the hike to the top that put us over.

And the journey ends. We took the boat back and Joe and I went back to the hotel for me to freshen up before heading to the airport. My flight was at 12:15 at night and they told me to leave the hotel by 8:00. They weren't kidding either. It took over an hour to get back, and the airport is a certifiable nightmare.

Mumbai airport = AWFUL. First, you get out of the cab to the longest line to the gate you've ever seen. And it's outside. The longest line just to get in the building. (And by line I really mean mob of angry, sweaty people.) I was smart and just walked up to the front and cut to the front of the line. I'm there playing dumb American (which was half true, I couldn't guarantee that this was the right line so I sure as shit wasn't going to wait hours just to find out it was the wrong one). And a riot started right as I got to the entrance (some guy was pissed about people cutting and the security not doing anything...ha!) so I just squeezed through some yelling people. No joke. And if you didn't have your ticket info printed out before you come, you have to wait in another line before you even get in the longest line of your life. Thank god I did. After that, not so bad. Just line after line after line. And I got racially profiled and stopped by every possible random check. Of course this was after it was assumed by 3 different helpers that I was flying first class. Either I look first class or I look like a terrorist, pick one Mumbai airport. I probably just looked guilty from cutting the line. Though I wasn't at all, there was no way I was waiting outside that long. The rest was easy. Except on the 5-hour red eye flight home, I was woken up twice by flight attendant asking if I wanted something to drink or eat. If I'm sleeping, do you think I want anything to drink? And did they not realize I was fasting in India?! And since I was flying Air India, it still counted. I kinda snapped at the guy and told him I didn't want anything, at all, for the rest of the flight, ever, and to leave me alone. He did after that.

Then home sweet home Singapore at 7:30 am local time. Of course, I didn't leave without first buying some liquor at the duty free store. I don't care if it's morning or not, I want cheap booze. And that it was.